Shocking research!
One of the biggest challenges that business owners have is being able to motivate and engage their employees to ensure that they perform at their best. Whilst extrinsic rewards are important, and often prioritised as being the main ways to achieve high levels of performance, I have found that having insight into the way we are communicating with our staff, will play a major role in enabling better results.
I was shocked to learn that researchers say that up to 60% of people’s potential doesn’t get used at work and one of the biggest inhibitors of people’s potential being used is the way we communicate with them. From my many years of observing people, it is clear that most people do too much fixing and telling in their communication and not enough asking. I know that if we were more skilled and conscious of asking, what I call Better Questions, we will undoubtedly get better outcomes!
Let’s be honest
Most people, I believe, are not aware of their habitual style of providing advice and telling too much. It seems that we are programmed to want to jump in to offer our advice, opinions and wisdom at every opportunity. Whilst I acknowledge, sometimes doing this maybe be useful, when we do it routinely and out of habit it becomes a dominant style, which then becomes detrimental.
Too much telling creates:
- Frustration as others don’t feel like their opinion matters or that they are valued
- Disempowerment leading to people simply ‘doing as they are told’ (or even rebelling if they possibly can)
- Lack of motivation as it is your idea and not theirs
- Reliance on the fixer and teller resulting in a loss of confidence and ability in the person being told (Note the burden of responsibility always ends up with the teller which leads to high stress levels and burn out for them)
- No creativity – everything is done the way the teller suggests and so people stop using their initiative and we miss out on new ways of doing things
One simple strategy
My best advice to overcome these issues is to simply start asking more questions. Before offering advice (even when people appear to be stuck) try reminding them of their capability and ask what they believe is a good solution. Stress that you believe in their inherent ability and wish to respect and empower them and magically people will start to share their own ideas. Not only do they naturally feel more engaged and motivated because it is their idea (neuroscientists have proven this), they will know that they are trusted, respected and valued, which naturally makes them feel positive and good about themselves.
I know that this one simple positive step will mean that your people will:
- use more of their potential
- be more engaged, motivated and productive
- share new ideas and innovations and use their initiative (simple because they have permission to do so!)
Finally, I’d like to let you into a little secret, not only do you benefit from being less stressed as people are less reliant on you, you actually get to learn so much more than you would ordinarily do as you have the benefit of the ideas, knowledge and wisdom of your team being shared with you. A fabulous win win!
~Business Game Changer Special Promotion~
Take action!
Please now take a moment to answer these questions:
- How much of a teller are you?
- What will change in your business if you start doing more asking?
- What will you do to start being more of a an asker and less of a teller?
By Lindsay Tighe
Authors Bio – Lindsay Tighe
Lindsay Tighe is a highly regarded author, speaker and coach. Her passion is helping people to see that the way they are unconsciously communicating can be detrimental to others and her mission is to teach people some simple strategies to enable them to communicate more effectively to have better relationships and get better results.
She has been delivering her thought provoking and often, life changing, workshops for nearly 20 years and has now enabled 1000’s of people to transform the way they are communicating for the better. She has published 9 books, and has also developed an extensive range of resources, including online programs, to support and inspire people to access and implement her teaching.
Lindsay’s website is www.empoweredconversations.com.au and she regularly writes blogs and posts updates on social media to challenge us all to be better communicators to create a better world.
